Thursday 8 September 2011

Cats rule OK

I allowed MS and MS junior to leave me to my own devices the other day to go out for some retail therapy.  While strolling down Burford High Street MS junior spotted this sign which I have to share with you.



They didn't buy it, but I want one for our house. The middle one obviously, as the top one would give our canine f(r)iends ideas above their station. What dog ever had the bright thought he owned the place? They're just too willing to obey.
I think the MSs are in denial as to who actually lives with whom.... and are also rather fickle.  This morning I discovered them giggling away over old family photographs - and there were far too many of previous cats they had been in service with for my liking.  But we true aristoc(r)ats must rise above feelings of envy.
Here is their previous owner, at the age of nineteen and still a force to be reckoned with. She visited me and I must admit she absolutely terrified me - but I had to admire her too: a veritable dowager duchess of cats!

Tuesday 23 August 2011

Food for thought

I have been found out - I AM a cowardly lion! So far I have always managed to persuade others in my neighbourhood that I am a large and terrifying monster (next door's cat is convinced of it and long may that last) but the other evening MS came downstairs to find a small black and white stranger in the kitchen scoffing my hard food and - even more humiliating - me outside the back door making no moves to evict the scrounger!
So today I engineered a stand-off outside the front door with a larger ginger 'friend' to impress MS and junior MS who is home for the vacation. Did it work? Well I thought I was pretty frightening, but they just thought I was ....pretty.... I guess you can't win them all. And I don't really like my hard food that much anyway.
Speaking of food - MS tells me there are cafes in Japan where animal-deprived people can bond with cats or dogs or rabbits or ferrets while enjoying tea, coffee and pastries
There are definite pros and cons for the animals concerned I feel - I'd love to hear your views on the subject (I shall definitely not be moving to Japan you will be glad to hear)

Tuesday 9 August 2011

A tale of two holidays

I do apologise to my avid readers for the wait, but normal blogging service is about to be resumed. I did think that MS would be more available now that she has retired from her other job, but frankly I have been disappointed. Not only does she claim that she doesn't know how she ever had time to go to work, but she actually had the nerve to go on a two week holiday in France.  What happened to me? Well, for the first week I had the undivided attention of Little Miss Joey, my adored cat sitter who panders to my every whim (well almost) and then......visitors from foreign parts arrived and disaster struck, not for me, but for two of them. My greatly admired long hair proved to be just too much (childhood allergies can be so dreadful) and so, for the first time in years I was sent off to the local hotel for felines.  Don't get me wrong - it has all the facilities a cat could desire, en-suite single rooms, but the company was not really to my taste: I ignored the spitting and hissing next door, but frankly it was a trial. Meanwhile the cat in the 'exchange' French home was being ministered to by MS and fellow cat-lover JD.
Here he is (Larry) looking needy and cute. He's obviously has been taking lessons from me.
Next week Little Miss Joey's taking over for MS' next holiday in France - happy days are here again! perhaps she might even write my next blog.... a bientot, mes amis...

Wednesday 4 May 2011

Behind enemy lines

Never mind all those other battles you might hear of, this is where the action is.  Just to show you how fierce and dangerous my main adversary looks, I sent war correspondent MS (at great personal risk) to snatch some shots (photographic only) of him. And here he is -  a great savage beast of a dog, ready to tear poor innocent cats limb from limb.



Well, perhaps I exaggerate a little, but I have never been not fond of dogs and this is a particularly large and bouncy springer spaniel who tears around my garden and empties my food and water bowls whenever he gets the chance. Not often. And he does wag his tail a lot, which I think means he wants to play. No chance.

Now MS seems to think he's a lovely dog and is known to look after him when his (adorable) owners are away. Traitorous behaviour that sends me into a sulk. You might wonder why I say his owners are adorable, but that's because they look after me when MS is allowed time off and they do it very well, in a suitable adoring manner. No accounting for tastes though - why have a dog when they could have a cat like me?

I am told that dogs and cats do get on together. Well, if puppies can be educated by kittens to to realise that there is no such thing as a 'top dog' and that cats rule, I suppose it might be possible. But to be honest, I am an old fuddy-duddy and have my doubts. Occasionally I hear MS junior (did I mention her before? Younger daughter - student) trying to persuade MS that she should get a dog when she retires. Not on my watch, sweetie!

Monday 25 April 2011

Of birds and Spring

'Spring is sprung, the grass is ris.
I wonders where the birdies is.
They say the birds is on the wing.
Ain't that absurd?
I always thought the wing was on the bird.'
Anon (well, who would put their name to this!)


Yes, Spring has definitely sprung and the lawn has been cut AND I can tell you exactly where the birdies is - in the trees in my garden - and I wish they weren't. The garden is where I go to relax (sleep, in other words) and frankly, at the moment, sleep is not an option. The birds (and probably the bees, but they just buzz in a respectful and quite soothing way) are busy 'doing it' as per the song. To do so they make as much noise as possible, chirping/chattering/cooing away and positively thumping through the leaves of our surrounding trees. Fluttering is obviously not de rigueur at this time of the season. Why don't they understand that we felines have to take our rest in the shade of the said trees and that we have very sensitive ears?


Here I am, trying to look as menacing as possible. My Slave has a theory that I refuse to exercise my domination of the great outdoors by not chasing our feathered friends away. Little does she know that my apparent indifference is in fact a cover for the fact that I haven't a clue how to do so. I have abandoned tree climbing (can be undignified as I found a couple of years ago when I couldn't work out how to reverse down the willow tree and had to attempt a back-flip that failed miserably) and climbing along the fences to intimidate the little blighters is not my favourite occupation; a majestic animal such as myself does not engage lightly in the equivalent of tightrope walking. So I just have to wait for Spring to wind down.....

Tuesday 19 April 2011

Introducing myself

This is a new experience, being able to share my views with the world. I have to have an amanuensis, being currently thumbless, unlike other cats of more developed physique but, no doubt, lower intelligence. So I'm using the typing skills of my MS (she thinks that it's short for 'mistress' but it actually stands for 'my slave') now that she has told me about the wonders of blogging.  Apparently I have to thank her two colleagues J and N for this revelation. (I grudgingly allow her to have a second job as it pays for my food and her lodging.)
So, to introduce myself properly: I am a Maine Coon a breed that thinks it's a dog, according to many of our MSs. VSs (visiting slaves) all tell me that I am totally adorable - they have good taste, I'm glad to say. One tries to please. Very occasionally I have to put up with non-cat people and neighbours' dogs: I attach myself like a limpet to the former and they soon go away and as for dogs - they are beneath contempt (excluding the large agressive variety that make me beat a hasty but always dignified retreat behind the MS, who I must say has so far managed to defend me successfully at risk of her own life and limb.) But our canine friends will be the subject of a separate blog....